Done and dusted

Well, it's finally over. Five years of uni is finally over, and I have emerged with 2 degrees, some of my best friends, and some funny memories (a lecturer in Accounting 1A, screaming at the rowdy lecture "F#$% the SHUT UP!", and the momentary silence before the whole lecture errupted into laughter).

I get really really reflective and nostalgic and generally sentimental around these times where I "close a chapter of my life". I don't know why and most of the time, I poke fun at myself for getting this way. But, since this is my blog, I have decided to indulge myself in some reflection on this last five years. And the overwhelming feeling coming out of this indulgence is a sort of wistful regret that I will never see some people again in my life.

You know those people...the ones you were kinda friendly with- you maybe did an assignment with them, or sat next to them in class- but you probably don't have their phone number, and you wouldn't really hang out with them outside of class or whatever. Those people, I will probably never see again, unless I bump into them running around the city in some food court somewhere. I get sad thinking about them. It's not like we have a whole heap of shared memories or anything....but more the concept that I will never see them again in my life. It's so final and bleak. But true. How depressing.

And musing about those people, leads me to thinking about other people I've just lost touch with. I mentioned in my 20 random things post that I have a tendency to hang people out to dry really quickly, if something happens that I feel I can't tolerate in a friendship (mostly it's a sudden loss of respect). It's not that a confrontation happens...it's more...hmmm...an intentional drifting apart. I'm not proud of this characteristic, and I'm not quite sure why I am this way, but I do know that you can't love people in slices (Thank you Sean Connery in First Knight....good grief, I can't believe I quoted from that movie. It is absolutely CRAP.) AAAaanyway, the reason I brought that up is because I often think about those people that were/are (I can't decide) friends, and I first regret allowing the drift to happen, and secondly wonder whether they are thinking about me. I don't reckon they are, which makes it even MORE sad and pathetic that I intentionally allowed a drift to occur, and they haven't even noticed- it's kinda indicative of how much value they placed on me in the beginning!

Oh, gah. I'm in contortions over all of this. At the end of the day, it's not for me to be judging people, and a true friend is someone who loves you despite your faults. I should go email a few people.

And for the group of people I mentioned first (the ones I may not ever see again in my life), it was lovely getting to know you. I hope we don't lose touch, but if we do, have a great life, and I pray that you find meaning and purpose in whatever you end up doing.