Hrumph.

For some reason, this whole "compromise in security" (haha, watched Alias last night...they seemed to say that a lot!) has left me feeling slightly uneasy.

Why?

I can think of a few reasons...

(1) Sometimes I express terribly un-Christian sentiments here when I am in a particular struggle with my faith. Things that I'm really not proud of. The thought of someone that I know, who knows me stumbling, unsanctioned, into this chronicle including my darkest moments is just a little bit scary. Especially considering that if I know them and they know me and they don't know about this site, then it's because I don't trust them enough. Isn't it funny that I don't mind the world at large reading. Just not people I don't trust. Which just goes to show that you need to have done a "positive act creating mistrust" (doesn't that sound legal!) as opposed to me just mistrusting people by default. Interesting.

(2) This is somewhat self-indulgent. I come here to vent. To get my thoughts in order. This is about me. There is no ultruistic way of justifying this. Not that I care really...I mean everyone needs their own outlets and mine just happens to be this. But self-indulgence probably isn't a characteristic to be admired.

(3) Can I come back to the mistrust thing? The thought of someone like Dave being privy to my innermost thoughts really sends shivers up my spine. Not that I care that he reads the stuff that I've said about him (like I said at the time, they are probably things that I should have said to his face anyway)...but just...I dunno. Things like struggles with bf. Those are things that I want to keep to people that I trust.

(4) The kids reading it. It's not like I have anything to hide...it's just that...I dunno. You just don't dump all your problems onto the kids. They're young, impressionable, and just maybe might stumble. Who knows? Either way it's definitely weighing on my conscience (is that how you spell it??) that I haven't been a good leader because I've set a dodgy example. Hrm.

Nieh. Can't do anything about that now.

In other news, I'm sitting here printing and printing and printing lecture notes for Thursday week's exam...notes that I should have gone over weeks ago...arrrrgh. Gay International Banking!

O! O! What did everyone think of Australian Idol last night?

I am slightly ashamed that I was cheering when Lauren got voted out...she was crud though! Her performance of Lady Marmalade was awful- she looked so wooden and like she was about to cry! She should have stuck to songs like Imagine (which she did for her semi-final performance...though she still looked wooden in that.)
I was sad that Cle got voted out before Kelly. Cle was a great performer (even though I didn't like her voice that much)...but yeah, I think her song choice hurt her that week.
Rebekah on the other hand (who I reeaaly like) has had 2 dud performances and is still in...I think she has a rapport with the public. Kelly also shouldn't be too discouraged (she's been in the bottom 3 two weeks in a row!) because the kind of stuff she sings doesn't connect with the general Aussie public as easily as normal pop. Though bearing that in mind, she's probably gonna get outed the next show as she predicted, unless someone else does a real stinker.
I was particularly impressed with Shannon...though he was a bit crap the week before, I agree with the judges that he was a stand out this round.

Ok, that was a long blog...
I'm hungry, off to lunch!

Tootles!