O God...

I bloody spoke too soon. Actually...kinda. I DO want toget over this crappy bumpy patch. But stuff just keeps holding me back, and I like I identified during my bawling fit, I just can't seem t get over it. BLOODY HELL, MY FRIGGIN MOTHER JUST HAS NO $%^#$%^& IDEA.

Let me reiterate. The other day when I told you I was bawling....I meant the bold and the capitals. I was BAWLING. God, does NO ONE give a crap. I coun't quite keep it in you see, so I was in wailing mode before the pastor left. Suffice to say that when the new senior pastor called this morning, he said "What's wrong with Emmelyn?" according to my bloody mother. She got angry at me, saying "It's so disgraceful! Now the whole church will know! Why did you do that??"

I'm SO SO ANGRY, AND SO SO HURT....

What am I, some source of shame?? I said, "I don't give a crap if the whole church knows!" and she said "Well I do!"....

She didn't even care to find out what I was really upset about. Just told me she didn't mean what she said and I shouldn't be so sensitive.

WHEN will this be over.....