My life is just generally unhappy these days.

I seriously loathe and destest these days that I'm going through now.

I wish I was closer to God....I think, even if He wants me to go through these tough trying times, then at least if I was closer to Him I'd have a better attitude towards this. I just get SO angry...I hate being treated like $%^&. I wouldn't mind leaving home for a while...

I HATE that I get guilt tripped regarding my sister. I HATE IT!!!! Just because my mother feels guilt over the situation, don't project it on to me dammit.

I get angry at this situation and at my mum for doing this to me...............not just angry. I swear at times I've almost literally seen red. I just want to punch something, but instead I come up here to tell nobody in particular how crap life is at the moment.

I wonder if Jesus ever thought his life was shit. Oh, sometimes (times like now) I wonder how the heck He can possibly identify with me. I mean...He was holy...utterly and truly. Tis a bit hard to wrap my mind around the totally God but totally human thing. I mean, I guess that means that he was faced with human situations...but always chose the Godly alternative. Does that mean he can't identify with what I go through often- being faced with human situations and often choosing the non-Godly option and then being stuck with the consequences?? O, I struggle! These faith questioning questions freak me out a bit- much easier to be a blind follower and acceptor of the plain words of the bible!!

Well, just got the dinner call....better go before I get in trouble again....(Don't you think I'm too old for this?!?!?!!)..

ciao x