Argh! Just found out that one of my bible study kids got hit by a car....argh! I'm a little bit shaken actually...

I was gonna blog about something else but now I don't feel like it!

Ergh!

Ok, I shall compose myself because I really did want to write about what I was going to.
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On Sunday I was driving to church having a conversation with God. Funny thing is that I haven't done a quiet time (in the truest sense of the phrase) for a while (1-2 months probably). We were just talking about how friday night went. I was examining my attitude....and God was saying to me two things: firstly that my attitude was wrong in that generally I'm always worried about how the kids will find things- when really my focus in ministry should be on God and not trying to please man (which was essentially what I was doing). And secondly that I was limiting God. I was so humbled...I mean, I came to this realisation that He doesn't even need us to run a Bring Your Friends night or a Fusion service or whatever...it's just that He chooses to be in partnership with us! And here I am carrying on like what I am doing is the be all and end all...very very humbled. God can do whatever He wants...we just need to have faith. Our programmes aren't the ultimate ending- rather they are merely the starting point. God is so much bigger than us, it's hard for me to comprehend I guess.

BUT the biggest thing on top of all that is that we were actually having a conversation. I was thinking things and He was answering back...not so much in words but just in impressions that hit you and you know (you just know!) what He is saying. After we were talking for a bit, I paused and realised that I hadn't been doing my QTs properly, and I wasn't exactly in the holiest shape (understatement!!)...so I was wondering why He was talking to me. And He replied "I'm wooing you back to Me."

It floored me. It brings tears to my eyes. I mean...o my goodness, who am I that God should want to love me and want to have a relationship with me so much?? Who am I that God...the God of the whole universe....would go out of His way to try and get me back to Him??? It's totally incongruous- I am his servant...He's the master....WHY should a master go out to try and His servant to love Him and want to be with Him? I'm the one that is supposed to be trying to get Him to love me, NOT the other way around. I'm so humbled by the vulnerability and tenderness that God shows me....He wanted me to love Him. He cared about our relationship enough to do something about it.....no matter how many times I type it here, I don't think I'll ever get over it.

So yeah....for all you out there whoever you are...there IS a God out there who is real, who loves you and me MORE than we ever could comprehend.......praying that you'd all come to a fresh revelation of His love for you.

xxoo