Ugly inside

Sometimes I look inside my heart and am appalled at what I see.

I dislike people.
I bitch about said people.
I think I'm better than everyone else.
I'm jealous.
I begrudge people happiness.
I'm disatisfied with what God has blessed me with.
God is often lower on the priority list that He should be.
I'm selfish.
I think of somethings purely in terms of how I can benefit the most.

...that's just a sample from the list.

When I think of all the things on this list - things that even me, sinful me, can appreciate are ugly and so far from who God would have me be...and then when I think of how God - a perfect and holy God can love me in spite of all that, I'm blown away, and I pray that in my small way, I can bless Him and bring Him joy.