Only if I have to

I'm finally confonting something about me that I find intensely annoying.

I only do things if I have to.

Argh! It means that I am totally a last minute person, because I don't have any motivation before the panic button is pressed, and it doesn't get pressed til the last minute. For example, for that Employment Law exam I did on Saturday (I think it was ok- the bit I'm worried about is that I didn't cite enough cases as authority for my propositions...but I dunno if I was expected to, because they were more Contract principles and this wasn't a Contracts exam.....eeeee....o well, only worth 50%!) I honestly had done close to zero work for it until the night before when I ploughed through a good 3/4 of the material, getting quite stressed out in the process. I just couldn't bring myself to study before then...I don't know why!!

In a totally different sphere, my mum reckons that I am almost totally undomesticated as I hardly ever do anything around the house (except cook when the mood takes me! I want to make creme brulee again. But there's no one to eat it...I can barely eat a quarter of a small glass because it's soooo rich...and Dad doesn't want to get fat. Hmmm.) But the fact of the matter is that I know I don't have to clean up around here because Mum usually just does it for me. If she wasn't around to do it, I'd do it myself quite capably (I remember when I went away with friends once, I woke up early in the morning to clean up the living area because it was SO MESSY and I couldn't stand it!). But see, it's this whole "only if I have to" concept.

Anyway, like bf keeps telling me, it means that I don't "live up to my potential", because I won't always have this "have to" kinda pressure on me. Hrrr. I'm frustrated with myself! How do I change this!?!

(I think I'm gonna go find a recipie that takes my fancy and bake something. =)