Something to prove

Last night I had a conversation with an old friend that disturbed me a bit. It was just one line that disturbed me, but I fell asleep mulling over it.

Context is that I've known this guy since I was young...probably since I was a baby! Our parents know each other through church, and we both grew up in the church. Anywayz, we went through the high school ministry at church together for a few years, then he started leading the high school ministry and we lead a group together briefly when I started leading. But after he stopped leading, he had a crisis of faith I guess (I gather it was something about growing up in the church and not having ever seen the 'other side' and thinking for himself...I never actually got a whole story) and stopped going to church and...I dunno if stopped being a Christian is the right turn of phrase, so, hmmm...maybe...stopped actively practising his faith might be a bit more accurate. Ever since then I haven't talked to him much at all, in fact, a week or two he messaged me over ICQ to say hi for the first time in a year or two.

Anywayz, I was chatting to him last night over the net and he was talking about how he has a lot of work coming up, and he was talking about what he was gonna do when he finished it all...said something like "It's gonna be a big weekend in the piss". (That was the line, in case you were wondering!)

I dunno, it was just so incongruous with the guy I knew before. The guy I knew before would never have said something like that. It's not that I object to having a big weekend after a stressful few weeks (I mean...that's your prerogative if you want to do that!) or the vulgar language (ditto!)...I dunno. I suppose it's particularly disturbing because I did look up to him and respect him a lot back in the days when he was a leader (I know it must seem like he was a really flaky Christian before all this happened, but let me assure you that is not how he was at all- he was passionate about God.)

But moreover, I get the feeling he was saying it to provoke some response from me. Some judgemental, preachy response that would justify his decision to shut God out of his life? I don't know. People expect me to be judgmental about things that I really would not judge them for...I don't know why. Or maybe he was just trying to prove to me/him that he's changed into a more worldly-sophisticated-bar-hanging-club-going-drunk-getting version of his former self. And then I have to ask the question...why are you trying to prove that!?

Ultimately I just feel a profound sadness.
Need to keep praying I guess.