Maybow, bloody Maybow: Part III

“Ooh yeah,” growled the Oompaloompa, proceeding to rub his spiky hairy hands all over the Lollipop.
“Hey you perve!” shouted Sarah. Her yelps were ignored as the Oompaloompa grabbed the Lollipop’s stick, lifting it up to smash it on a conveniently placed tree-stump. Lollipop swiftly grabbed the Ogre’s horns with his stick (it was a bendy stick, you see), and hung on with all his might.
“Lollipop! You’re back!” Exclaimed the Ogre, easily untangling its stick from his horns. Tears of joy welled up in his eyes. He started to dance a jig. Meanwhile, Lollipop cursed himself.
“Dammit, I thought those were twigs,” he mused.
“Lolleeeeeeeeeeeeeepooooooooooooooop!” Wailed Sarah in anguish. The tousle had happened so quickly that she was left as a mere bystander chewing her fingernails and tying her knickers in a knot.
“Let’s go home Popsi,” said the Ogre affectionately.
“Lollipop! What about me?” demanded Sarah.
“I’ve run out of floss,” said the candy apologetically. “Sorry!”
“But I’ve got heaps of that stuff at home. We could make a life of it. Us. Together!!!” She pleaded, feeling that she’d been hard done by.
“Far out man, you really have NO concept of oral hygiene, do you??” Said the Ogre smugly, drying his eyes heroically. From his pocket, he withdrew a length of floss. Lollipop’s eyes lit up.
“O my dearest Ogre!” Exclaimed the Lollipop breathlessly. “Who do you get your floss from??” Ogre blushed.
“Usually I weave it myself…but recently, I’ve taken to grabbing Oral-B Ultra Floss from the supermarket. I love the smell of freshly pulled out floss!!” Ogre’s eyeballs rolled back in his head in bliss.
“Why did I ever leave you??” Said Lollipop affectionately. Ogre gave a thankful gasp and tried to hold back tears as he held Lollipop tight.
“Hey!” yelped Sarah. “Remember me!?!” Ogre turned around mid-sob.
“Yeah, I remember you. So what?”
“What about me?” wondered the Oompaloopa, dazed by his recent scuffle.
“Bah, screw you guys. Sarah, you are a thieving poo. Get out of here and leave me and my Popsi alone! Oomps, you’re a sweetie, but your company here is unwelcome.”
“I’m a sweetie??” squeaked Oompaloompa excitedly.
“Uh, I think the emphasis should be placed on the ‘unwelcome company’,” muttered Sarah.
“Well YOU’RE a thieving poo,” replied Oomps somewhat spitefully. Sarah’s reserve finally broke. She started to tug at the hair and wring her hands while screaming
“Maybow!! Bloody Maybow!! I can’t take it anymore!!”

As this particular drama unfolded, Ogre and his Popsi were quietly sneaking off into the sunset.

THE END