Hmm.

Can you humour me for a moment and picture yourself in my shoes, with your sibling in a coma for 9 weeks with a brain tumour to boot. How would you be?

I was having a rather heated chat (not heated angry...heated passionate? I dunno) with bf last night about faith in relation to her condition. Sigh. If he only had a taste of what it's like to be in this situation, then maybe he'd be a little more compassionate and less cognitive.

Cognitive. Ergh. When I think of that word in this context I think bright glaringly white lighting and the smell of disinfectant and lino on the floors. Ergh.

Everytime I talk to him, it's like...I dunno, I told him, "my faith is like a balloon, and when I talk to you, I feel like you're pin-pricking it." Not that my faith is shaken...but I just feel discouraged. I mean, of course he'd allowed to have different opinions etc. But, HOW GOOD would it be to be able to see eye to eye?? HOW GOOD would it be to be able to believe in faith together, on the same wavelength for something?? Arrrrrgh. I wish I didn't have to argue, justify, defend, logicise, explain...and I suppose I don't really need to. But I just feel like I have to. I feel like in the back of his head when he's listening to me that he's thinking "O, poor disillusioned Em, there there". Same goes for all people who don't believe as I do. ARRRRRRGH.

That's why I like talking to people who just have a simple belief that God will heal her. It's not tiring. I don't feel defensive. It's encouraging.

Pffft. Why should I care if you all think I'm psycho and that I'm setting myself up for a fall? I don't think I am. And even if I am, I'm going down hoping!

Grrrrr.