Hello hello

Has anyone ever said anything to you that really assaulted your sense of self?

That happened to me last night. Bf was telling me that I'm always grumpy and unhappy with my life etc etc. And there was just something inside me going "That's not true!! That is SO NOT TRUE!!!". I don't see myself that way! I don't see myself as unhappy with my life! I mean, of course I have my moments (haha most of them are chronicled faithfully on this blog), but so does everyone. Argh. I don't want to be labelled as a pathetic individual.

But it's disturbing that someone I love and someone that I share my life with thinks that. Makes me think that it might be true. And in that case, that would be awful.

=(

I'm also slightly afraid that I might have fooled myself so badly that I can't even tell that I'm doing it anymore. There's a word for that: DELUSIONAL! Argh! Help! Someone! Anyone!

But then....there are times when bf has just NOT understood me. Has totally missed the mark...Oh, I DON'T KNOW! I tried to take stock of my life to see if there was merit in what he was saying but it's not happening.

E.g. The other day (yesterday) I was feeling like crap (PMS probably) while driving to GG so I called bf up on the way there. And in the midst of a non-sympathetic response, I remarked "Do you think I'm ever going to get ANY undeserved sympathy from you EVER??" and he goes "Oh, but if I give you sympathy then you'll always come to me..."- WTH?? I thought the point of this whole having someone was so they would be there for you and stuff.....I'm just SO wrong sometimes!

Bleh. I keep trying to tell him that all this angst is PMS and exam stress but he goes "But you can't have PMS ALL THE TIME.."

ARGGGGGGGGH. I'm getting frustrated just THINKING about it!!