Hello all =)

Why do people have kids? Do you think there's actually any logical decision that goes on before the decision? I'm increasingly sure that if people actually thought logically about having kids then no one would do it.

The reason I started thinking about this is because I look at my parents who don't seem to be deriving any benefits from having brough my sister and I into the world. Like...they're always scoffing at other parents who make a big deal about their kids: e.g. the other day my mum was going on and on about one of our family friends who was exultant about the beauty of his two daughters...ok when I put it like that it makes him sound like a psycho...but mum was really paying him out, saying "Sure you'd say stuff like that to other people!"- I think, heck, at least he's getting some return in his investment in his kids, at least he is gaining some sort of pleasure out of having them in the world!! When I look at my parents, it's just all...I don't know...sacrifices without and returns. Like if they're proud of us, they never say so...or anything like that. I sure hope they are getting pleaasure out of us at least, if they don't say anything!

I posed the question to my mum and she was saying that it's all about sacrifices and once you have kids you become last on the list of priorities. That seems so bleak. Who would willingly put themselves in that position unless they were getting something out of it???

THINGS YOU CAN GET OUT OF PARENTING
# Continuance of the family name! (Best go for boys then...haha)
# An outlet for love and relationship (Humans are conditioned to want stuff like that. But surely there's a more effective way to get that. I mean...most parent-kid relationships are pretty screwed actually.)
# Pride in your offspring
# Character growth for yourself (become more patient, loving, sacrificing..)
# Someone to (hopefully) look after you when you are old
# Knowing that you contributed a worthwhile person into the world

I think I'm out of benefits.

Then my mum said to me that you can't always expect everything to have a benefit flowing from it. There are things in this world that (according to her) don't have positive pay-offs. As I type this, I'm trying hard to be objective (and I think I'm doing a pretty good job) but still it is a little disconcerting that my parents just see me as one big black hole of sacrifices. Hum. But yeah...I guess, if that's really how they feel then I feel a bit sad for them.

I'm talking to my bf about this whole thing now...and it makes me realise that I guess you can't always evaluate everything in a cost/benefit, present value kinda way! Or can you? I don't know, I'm confused.

I still want kids tho! Hahahahahahaha...

ciao xxoo