The Crash of Plummetting Dreams

Went to my songwriting lesson today and heard a rough recording of how the track is gonna sound. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt at the moment (read: I was not impressed by what I heard). However, I feel so divorced from the whole process, and even more disturbingly, the song itself (it's like feeling no maternal instinct towards a baby!), and any possible gloss it ever had has been eaten up by an overwhelming sense of "Why bother, is this really going to launch my illustrious career, even if she (the chick recording it) does get off the ground with a record label??"

=p

I think that if I really want to make this happen I have to take some initiative myself and do something a bit more proactive, rather than just letting the songwriting dude call the shots. I need to get a studio. And I need to be able to play better. I don't like this no input beyond writing the lyrics. (That's the bit that really sucks, hearing everything change! I am trying to be more laid back about it all, given that it's basically an inevitability if you're not your own performer/producer as well...but I still feel a big twinge when I hear how much it has changed. Like it's not mine anymore. Well it's not really. Bah.)

Also, what makes me so damn unemployable!! GR.