Social Pariah

The worst worst worst thing about working here is the fact that I am such an outsider! It's awful! It's not like I have a little group of attachees to hang out with like summer clerks do. It's just me on my lonesome.

I suppose the grad equivilents (they're called pupils here) would be the best source of companionship, but...I dunno, most of them seem so unwilling to go out of their way to be friendly. For example, this morning, for the final few floors of the lift ride up to level 26 where I get off, it was just me, the pupil who works in my department, another pupil I met last week at a lunch, and another pupil I'd never seen before in the lift. Did they engage me in conversation? Nope! Did they even acknowledge my presence? Nope! In fact, no one talked to me until the guy from my department and I got out and walked to our desks (he said hi then!).

And when I was walking to lunch, I had the misfortune of seeing a whole bunch of them walking out to lunch together (including those lift people)...no one said hi, and of course, no one asked me to join them (not that I would have wanted that, of course...that would have brought its own angst).

It's depressing. I usually don't mind eating lunch by myself but today it was depressing because of those aforementioned events.

The depressing weather (it's raining..bucketting down!) doesn't help my mood either.

O help, I have to go to that crappy Christmas lunch!!